just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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