i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
