I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
