You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
