Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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