I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
