Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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