Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
