I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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