you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
