Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
