I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
