I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
