were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
