I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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