Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
should my penis look like a turkey
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
