I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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