Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You made out with two different species that night
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
