when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize