My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Everyone says I win the strip club
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
