You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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