What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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