That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
