we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
These tits shall not be calmed
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
