We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Just cropdusted the office
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
