pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
