Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize