So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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