everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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