it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
