just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
