u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
