his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
