im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize