All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
