If that was your dad, he is hot
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize