And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
