Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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