can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Success! We fucked roommates!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
