I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
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