so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Randomize