I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
