i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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