So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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