so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
