that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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