Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
