the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
