dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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