Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
