I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize