My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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