yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
