we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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