I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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