There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
