You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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