Having a random hookup so left but love u
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm at about main and main street
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
