We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
