Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
