Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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