Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
They are going to name an STD after you.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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