i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
