My first STD was from a foam party
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize