I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
