I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize