There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize