she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
