i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
