this boner is exhausting
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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