yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize